Not One Person Said "Loneliness" — Even Though Half of Them Felt It This Week
I asked a room full of seniors to fill in the blank: "The surest sign of age is ___." Not one of them said loneliness — even though half of them had felt it just this week.
It started with Lonesome George, a male Pinta Island tortoise and the last known individual of his subspecies, who became our unlikely catalyst for exploring a very human topic. I built an original creative enrichment program around him, using what I call "Creative Quotes" — you take a famous quote, leave part of it blank, and invite residents to fill it in with their own words.
The quote I used was this one:
"The surest sign of age is ___________." — Annie Dillard, American author and 1975 Pulitzer Prize winner for General Nonfiction
(Her original word was loneliness.)
Here's what the residents came up with instead:
Face wrinkles. / Slow mobility. / Wrinkles. / Slowing down. / Walking with a walker. / Aches and pains. / Being a curmudgeon. / Confused dialogue. / Low vision. / I've never seen people like that. / Staying alive. / White hair. / Rheumatism. / Memory loss. / People saying how old they are. / Can't remember people's names. / Telling the same story over and over. / Riding in this "chariot" (wheelchair). / I'm not old yet. / It depends on what you're trying to remember – if it's something important and you're not doing it, you're in trouble. / Getting shorter. / Hair loss. / Chronic coughing. / Enjoying being home. / Solid bowel movements. / Sleeping more.
Yes, someone actually said "solid bowel movements." It got the biggest laugh of the day, which is exactly the kind of moment that reminds you these are vivid, funny, fully alive human beings.
That disconnect between what people admit privately and what they'll name publicly says something important. Research confirms that loneliness in America is worsening. A November 2025 American Psychological Association survey found that more than 6 in 10 U.S. adults often or sometimes feel lonely, with over half reporting they feel isolated, left out, or lacking companionship. The Cigna/Evernorth Loneliness in America 2025 survey put the number even higher, with 57% of Americans qualifying as lonely. And closer to home for this group, a December 2025 AARP study found that 4 in 10 adults age 45 and older are lonely — a significant rise from 35% in 2010. I'm guessing the numbers would be even higher in nursing homes facing staff and volunteer shortages.
An important part of my journey as a musician has been to leave a legacy that inspires volunteerism and careers in aging. So, with the help of a wonderful organization called Music to Life, my daughter Kat and I — I'm a juried artist with Music to Life — produced a documentary short addressing this very issue. It premieres at the Lawrence FreeState Fest this Saturday, June 27 (yes, that means tomorrow!). Details here: Slice of Life: Short Documentaries & Pizza Party
If you're lonely, here's one guaranteed way to feel less so: go to a nursing home and help someone else feel less lonely. Guaranteed, or your money back. 🙂
I'm available for keynotes, concerts (including house concerts), and workshops, and would be happy to incorporate my 14-minute documentary short. Contact me for more info.
Turtle Photo Collage by Kareen King